Novel Ideas Never Occur To Me In The Shower
And when I say novel, I mean great or new, not Stephen King or James Frey. I honestly don't get it. I always hear people talking about all of the thinking they are doing in the shower, but when I'm in the shower, if I'm thinking at all, it is about how I don't think I have anything to think about. Really, it's the opposite of thinking, like stars of thought collapse into a massive black hole inside of my head and absorb any potential sparks for new ones (or like they all just drowned by the faucet water).
The other day though, I thought about singing Beyonce's Drunk In Love at the top of my lungs because I knew my father-in-law was in the kitchen down the hall, but when I got to the "woa-oh-oahs" my voice started cracking, and if anyone's ever heard me try to sing on an album they know I should just stick to poetry, anyway. (Plus, we've had a couple living-room karaoke sessions as of late, and it's pretty amazing how terrible you can start to feel about singing along to a song when you're reading through all of the lyrics on the screen and everybody's grin turns to grimace.)
The only shower idea I had lately was one I stole from a guy with a big beard who told me that if I shaved my face everyday, regardless of whether I have anything to shave or not, it would stimulate something in my skin that told hair to grow, eventually. But I've heard that guy's story about shaving nothing helping you shave something for so many years that I think maybe it's just horse-hockey anyway (I've always wanted to say that because I don't know what it means), and my endeavor will end up being a fruitless one that ends as quickly as it began. It won't even have been solely a fruitless idea, it will have a been a stolen fruitless idea.
It's probably for the best because Brandi doesn't like facial hair anyway, so even if it did work, it still wouldn't have been a good idea.
Novel ideas never occur to me in the shower. Just an observation.