On the day when my heart opened up, I was completely naked, standing outdoors and dripping wet with bathwater runoff from the tub sunk into a roofless terrace, unaware that our host had tip-toed up the hill behind me so as not to be heard, to deliver breakfast.Read More
The moon is bright, and I am glad to have gone through what I have gone through this year. I want to be a person who lives with a sense of curiosity. Of wonder. I got to thinking that maybe that sense of wonder escapes me the moment I go about demanding that it show itself. “Come out from behind that curtain, you Wizard.”Read More
Twice now, in the mornings when I’ve circled the lawn, a bird has flown straight into my head. The first time it scared me. I looked for a nest, considering myself a threat (even though I felt more like the victim), but when it circled back around again, I grew so angry at the damned creature that I began screaming profanities at it right outside a stranger’s front door, and ran away like a child being bullied on the playground.Read More
I make today better for Brandi, a woman who has loved me through things that I thought might be final straws. I make today better for my mom, who is a shining light in this world, and whose light shines on me. I make today better for my sister, who told me how much she loved me yesterday after a nightmare she didn’t want to repeat…Read More
to a pave stone, to a railing, to a rock, until you get to where you're going was a good game as a kid, but less conducive for someone so exhausted by that lake of fire. Read More
Clark Kent is Superman's alter-ego, and not the other way around. “Superman is the true person.” In short: it is not the self-consciousness and anxiety that we experience as creators (people in general) that makes us who we are. Rather, self-consciousness and anxiety are merely imposters that hold us back from who we actually are.Read More
I hope y'all are doing well. It's nice to be able to take some time off after so many years spent entirely on, but it hasn't come without it's challenges... and one of which has been, simply, missing connecting with you – whether out on the road, or through a blog post like this one.Read More
Learning about not ignoring who I am for the sake of being what I imagine others might want me to be. Learning to be okay with what MY gut says. With what MY convictions are. With being known for who I actually am. With risking the conflict. With asserting myself…Read More
And so here is to new life in new places, abundant and everlasting. Arlo, here, and you, wherever he came from. Dust arriving and dust returning, like a grand switch for a brief blip on this eternal timeline.Read More
My mom drinks Barley Green in the morning, and then uses the same cup to eat her granola and yogurt, and then uses the same cup to drink orange juice, and then wonders what my sister and I are talking about when we tell her it’s disgusting.Read More
Life was more clearly defined when it fit into the filing cabinet, but these collisions are like hands reaching in to throw all those papers into the air so they rain down like the wonder it is to be alive and breathing, as if that were merely a categorical bore.Read More
As I was leaving Albuquerque to begin my last tour the morning after I said goodbye, I had the thought that driving away from my friends felt like a small death. It felt like small deaths the further east I moved. It feels like a small death when I think of going back home without them there, now. It feels like a small death when I think of my wife being home without the friends that used to be there for her when I was gone.Read More
As I sit here and try to figure out what to say, all I can think of is the word "mercy." That you were a man who understood the need for mercy. That you would long for me to be a man full of mercy. Even in your darkest moments you were able to perceive that mercy was the thing that we lacked. It's almost laughable, how poignant that statement was, like the eye of your storm spent on a glimpse of our future.Read More
When you work for yourself, there is no clock-in-clock-out unless you are incredibly disciplined at creating your own parameters, and most people aren't that disciplined. This is probably extra-true of artistic types who don't like any structure whatsoever. I sort of like the idea of both, so I switch back and forth between them and talk to everyone about how one is better than the other depending upon whether I'm in a season of waking up early and hitting the gym and regimenting my days, or if I'm awake until 3 a.m. because - you know - creativity only flourishes in the night or whatever.Read More
I loved the girl who'd smoke Reds with me into the morning at the park by your place, but I love the fitness guru with the dirty glances at my tobacco-infidelities ten years removed just the same. Thank you for the differences. Thank you for change.Read More
I pictured you both as children.
As dreamers. As dreaming as though till death do we part
were no more than words on a page.
As omniscient as youth is on a wedding day,
when love hopes all things, and believes all things,
and promises to do the same
when love must bear all things, and endure all things,
when all things change.
When I read the letter today, it was so much more than that. It was memories wrapped up in your rise and awe-filled conversations with my family enjoying the games and screaming at the television. It was watching 'es skateboarding videos and loving the gold and purple Koston 3s and his spots in LA jerseys.Read More